You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
