I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
