Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
