this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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