saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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