That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
