I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You are a genius and a whore.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
