so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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