Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
