TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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