having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
