I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
