You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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