things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
