My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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