Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
