those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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