Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
