My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
