so let's talk penis.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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