White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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