In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
