Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Pooping to opera.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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