Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
