Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
