do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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