I CAN MOONWALK!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
