Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
They took my balls.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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