Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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