nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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