seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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