her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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