ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
