That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
