And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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