they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
