Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just invented taco cereal.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
