I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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