everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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