Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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