your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
