dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
