Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
