This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
