I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
