he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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