I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
