Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
