is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
