Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
