is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How external is "for external use only"?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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