The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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