This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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