I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
