my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
